Stay With Me
by April3
Summary: *spoilers for Book5* After the death of Sirius, Remus seeks comfort where ever he can get it... *complete*


Disclaimers: I don't own Snape, Remus or anything else in Harry Potter. Obviously. 

Author's Note: This takes place right after the event in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. 

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Remus wasn't completely sure how he was going to cope with Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. With Sirius gone, it felt like the Black House should be abandoned if not set aflame. It was even emptier and hollow then it had felt before...

He couldn't bring himself to think of it just now. Of course he did think of it, but his eyes were still stinging from this morning's tears. He was also thankful the others were occupied elsewhere at the moment. Managing a polite conversation would have proven quite difficult.

He hadn't given himself the proper time to even begin to grieve. His was far quieter than 

Harry's. Sirius and he had never quite gotten around to explaining their relationship to 

anyone, not even to Harry. Though he often thought most of them knew or if not the lot of them than at least the members of the Order. It had been comforting then to have them know and not judge. It wasn't comforting now. They all looked at him as though they could possibly understand what he was going through.

Very few of them could have understood what it was like to watch all your hope disappear into darkness.

"MUDBLOODS! SCUM! WRETCHES, THIS IS NOT YOUR HOME!"

The curtains must have come lose around the portrait. Mrs. Black had remained eerily silent since the death of her son which obviously had been a fluke. Kretcher had been found and sent away so no one would have cared.

He walked numbly into the room where the portrait hung to close them again.

"HOW COULD HE ALLOW THIS? GET OUT! GET OUT, YOU CREATURES OF DIRT!"

Remus gritted his teeth struggling not to react, not to give her the satisfaction of knowing she was getting to—

"WELL, HE IS NO SON OF MINE! MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT THAT—"

He hadn't meant to fling the glass vase. He hadn't even known he had taken it off of the bureau behind him until it was dashed into thousands of tiny pieces of crystal against the painting.

"Shut up," he said in a low growl. He pushed the curtains over the now silent painting in a rage. "He's gone now."

__

He's not coming back…He can't come back because he's d—

"I will just come back then, shall I?" Just a slight sneer, though the voice was unmistakable.

Remus blinked and calmed down just as quickly as he had become infuriated. He had never been one for harsh words or any sort of violent behavior when he wasn't in wolf form. He felt ashamed of himself, but managed to look over at the wizard who had been addressing him.

"Did you need something, Severus?"

"I didn't realize anyone else was here. I was coming up to put a stop to her," he said pointing over at the painting.

"The others are out on assignments," Remus said quietly looking over at the shattered glass.

"Then I will give my report later."

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

Severus raised an eyebrow as though the thought hadn't occurred to him. "Say anything?"

"About…"

"I hadn't thought it any of my business."

Remus bit his lip unsure how to respond to that. Perhaps it was better that Severus didn't want to say some sort of scathing remark. After all, the former Deatheater could hardly have been foolish enough to want some grieving lunatic to throw glass vases at him.

"Ah."

"Why?"

Remus looked startled. He had been expecting Snape just to leave but there he was still standing in the entrance of the room, arms crossed, features expressionless. 

"…?"

Severus scowled. "Why would I say anything?"

Remus tried to think of a polite response to that question but the other wizard seemed rather impatient.

"Just because I didn't like him doesn't mean I would speak ill of him."

"That hasn't not stopped you before."

Slight bit of anger and then a neutral expression again. "Perhaps not."

"So why now?"

Severus looked irritated. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."

"Why aren't you going to say anything about him being foolish or getting what he deserved?"

"Would it make you feel better if I did?" Severus sneered. 

Remus shook his head. "I…thought…"

"Then I'll leave you to your thoughts," Severus said moving out into the hallway.

"Wait."

A swift, graceful turn.

"…I'll go with you."

Slightly raised eyebrow, look of mild annoyance.

"I'm sorry. I just…I'd rather not be alone."

"You can find other candidates, I'm sure."

"No one else is here."

"….What exactly is it that you want?"

Remus looked puzzled.

"If you want to reminisce about the good old days, Remus, you'll find that my interest in the subject is nonexistent."

"No, that's not—"

"If you wanted to talk about all the wonderful times we spent together with Black, you will find me equally uninterested."

"That's not…" Remus shook his head. "I don't want to…and I would never be so insensitive as to think you would find such topics worth your time."

Look of bewilderment then a small smirk. "You really must be desperate for company."

Remus fought against a small blush of embarrassment. "Well—"

"Do as you please," Severus said before he left the room.

Remus quickly followed him out. "What you prefer to talk about?"

Severus stopped. "When I said 'Do as you please,' I was hoping you'd take that as a subtle hint to leave me alone."

"…Oh."

Severus sighed shaking his head. "Fine. I would rather talk about…"

"Go on."

"I haven't the faintest idea, Remus. I was expecting to be alone, not the guest of honor at a werewolf's tea party."

"Tea would be nice."

Severus gritted his teeth. 

"Would you fancy a cup of tea?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Would you prefer some steamed milk?" Remus said with a small smile.

Severus scowled. "Tea will have to do."

Remus felt a bit guilty to be happy only days after….well, it didn't matter. He was glad to be happy and glad to have company.

In the kitchen, he filled a tea kettle with water and set it on a burner. Severus stood in the doorway crossing his arms. Remus chuckled as he rummaged around for tea bags.

"What?"

"Honestly, Severus, if you looked any more uncomfortable—"

"Oh…hush up," the other wizard said before sitting down at the table and scowling.

Remus looked around for sugar and spoons as he tried to think of something to say. Severus seemed completely content to sit at the table and stare at the wall. It was only when the tea kettle began to squeal that he even looked over his shoulder.

Remus looked around frantically for oven mitts as the tea kettle continued to squeal then scream then yell obscenities at them. Sirius had found the tea kettle amusing but Remus had to admit it was the most irritating purchase he had ever allowed Sirius to make.

"_Wingardium leviosa._"

Remus smiled sheepishly as the tea kettle levitated off of the stove. "Right. Sorry."

"About bloody time!" said the tea kettle as boiling hot water filled the two mugs. 

Severus glared at the tea kettle.

Remus chuckled again and Severus glared up at him instead. "It's just funny…"

"I'm glad I could amuse you so very much," Severus said sardonically.

Remus blushed apologetically and handed the other wizard his cup of tea before sitting down at the table as well.

"When will the others be back?" 

"I'm not too sure."

Severus seemed about to say something but stopped himself.

"Hm?"

"Not important."

Remus looked down into his milky tea. 

Severus scowled uncomfortably.

"Yes?"

"Nothing at all!"

"Then why are you so annoyed?" Remus asked with an amused smile.

"I'm not."

"Suit yourself."

Severus drummed his fingers on the edge of the table waiting for his piping hot tea to cool.

"I…never really hated you, Severus."

A small bitter sound of amusement. "And what bring about the sudden desire to confess?"

Remus shook his head. "I just thought I ought to try saying it when I thought you might hear me out."

Severus hissed out a sigh, looking extremely put out as he stared at the other wizard. "And you think I'm listening?"

Remus was suddenly fascinated by the tea bag in his cup. "Is there any reason for us to hate each other anymore?"

"Oh, I don't know. Offhand, I could give you a dozen."

"Well, you can die hating me if you like. I just wanted you to know that I didn't hate you."

"If it comforts you at all, I never thought you did," Severus said before sipping his tea. 

It was a shame. All of it was. Remus wished he could just tell Severus how bad he had felt doing nothing all of those times when… He wished they could have been friends or could be friends. He didn't think it was possible, but he wanted Severus to at least forgive him. They could die any day at any time, and then these words would haunt him like so many of those things that he had never found the time to say to Sirius.

"I'm sorry…" he managed weakly, unable to bring himself to drink his tea. Maybe if he drank as slowly as possible Severus would stay longer.

He didn't have to look up to know Severus was staring at him, probably annoyed, most likely angry. Then the other wizard turned away and finished up his own cup of tea hurriedly. Remus winced, feeling that not for the first time today that something important had been lost. Something he would never have, something he wanted to have.

The now empty cup came to rest on the table with a soft thud as Severus silently rose to his feet.

"Don't leave," Remus said miserably, unable to stop himself from sounding as hopeless as he felt. He shouldn't be acting this way, he thought blinking rapidly feeling the need to cry again. 

"Why not?"

"Because—"

"I don't feel like being coerced into offering you some sort of apology or accepting yours."

Remus blinked. "You…don't have to apologize. And you don't have to accept mine unless you want to."

Severus stared at Remus, his expression softened slightly before he sighed and sat back down again.

"You'll stay then?"

"I have nothing else to do so yes, I will stay."

Remus smiled and sipped his tea, careful not to thank the scowling wizard though all the same he was grateful. A small amount of progress had been made and that could do for now. 

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End file.
